Live Without Passion and Maybe You'll Know Peace
by SciFiRN
Summary: Dean called Cassie the night before he goes to hell. She shows up and this is what happens. Follow-up to The Black Dress and Just One Heart With No Alibis. You don't need to read those, but they set the mood. Rated M: sex and language.


"_Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead." _Joss Whedon

**Live Without Passion and Maybe We'd Know Peace**

She smiled; he took her hand and pulled her almost roughly into the room, closing the door with his foot. The man before her surprised her. This man was not the cocky, self-assured man who waltzed into her life so many years ago and swept her off her feet. He wasn't even the smooth talking, infuriating, but charming man who she'd fallen into bed with two years ago. This man was desperate, needy and if Cassie weren't so sure this was Dean Winchester, she would say afraid.

Dean backed into the room, his hand clasping Cassie's as he pulled her with him. She was everything he'd imagined. Her hair up, high heels and stockings. He tried to smile, but he knew it didn't reach his eyes. He felt his hand shaking and he dropped hers to run his trembling hand over his face. Shit. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days and sleep had been avoiding him for far too long. He suddenly realized he must look like hell. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Cassie's voice stopped him.

"My god, Dean what's wrong?" She moved to stand in front of him and her hand gently cradled his cheek. Her other hand reaching for his shoulder. "You look terrible, are you alright?"

Cassie felt her heart melt. She really wasn't sure why she'd come. The angry part kept telling her it was to make him suffer; look, but don't touch. The other part of her, that part that missed him, knew she came hoping there was something they could resurrect. The rational part, caught in the middle, knew both were wrong and that she'd end up sleeping with him and being pissed at him in the morning, but now looking at him she was scared. Something wasn't right. Dean didn't do fear, uncertainty or desperation.

Dean looked away, fighting the tears he refused to cry and shook his head even as his hand covered the one she had on his face, "Everything is fucked up…I just…" He turned his gaze to the woman in front of him and swallowed, "Cass, I just had to see you one more time."

Cassie moved and sat on the bed, urging him to join her. When he sat beside her she grabbed his hands and raised her eyebrow at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dean growled and shrugged, "Nothing…Everything…I don't know..."

Cassie sighed as anger started to shove concern aside, not that she didn't remember, but Dean also didn't do emotion. She dropped his hands and glared, "Nothing and everything? What do you mean you don't know? What the hell kind of answer is that? You leave, I don't hear from you in two years and suddenly you call me, ask me…or should I say, beg me to drive to your motel room without an explanation as…"

Dean shoved up from the bed and stood. "You're the one who sent me away, so don't pull that shit with me." He moved to the dresser and picked up the whiskey. He turned to face Cassie, "It was always your choice, because if it had been mine there wouldn't have been any leaving." He lifted the bottle and took a long drink, his eyes pinning Cassie to the bed.

Cassie stood and stalked over to him. She grabbed the bottle and mimicking Dean she tipped it and drank. She grimaced as the alcohol burned down her throat and then put the bottle down. She pointed her finger into Dean's chest, "You son of a bitch. Don't go blaming me for everything that went wrong with us." Her voice rose, "You lied to me so many times I didn't know up from down. You had an excuse for everything and for awhile I believe them, because I wanted it to work, but eventually it got to be too much."

Dean huffed and pressed himself closer, "Fuck that. You didn't want to be with me once you found out what I did…who I was." Dean stared into Cassie's face. Anger was just coursing, skirting along the edge of his hunger. He caught her eyes, saw her desire widened pupils and he knew she saw the same thing in his eyes. His breath caught when she raised her hand. He knew it was coming and he didn't stop her.

The slap rang out sharp into the room. Then the only sound in the room was breathing. Shallow, shaky breaths from barely opened lips.

Dean turned his head back to face her, and slowly slid his eyes open. He watched emotions cross her face, one after the other. He saw the pain in her eyes, the remorse, the desire. He smiled as she raised her hand again. He wouldn't stop the second one either. The sharp hurt made the sting in his soul fade for a few seconds.

Cassie held her hand up, prepped to slap him again, because it made her feel better. It released her frustration and anger, but when he smiled, she faltered. He made her so angry. This was what he wanted. "Bastard." She whispered and dropped her hand.

Dean pushed an inch closer, "Bastard? No. I may be an asshole, jerk, or jackass, sure, but never a bastard." With one finger, he traced across the tops of her breasts, lightly, barely touching. He smirked when her breath caught and she swallowed. "Something wrong?"

Cassie bit back the groan of frustration and shook her head, even as his finger continued to trace back and forth across her chest and up to her collarbone. Her eyes drifted shut and she swayed unconsciously into Dean's touch. God, this was not how she saw things going. He always managed to turn her to putty in his hands and it pissed her off. She took a deep breath and stepped back shaking her head, "No…" Her voice was shaky and she cleared her throat, "…Nothing. Is. Wrong." She bit out the words as she glared him down.

Dean shrugged and moved forward, recovering the distance she'd put between them. He leaned forward and without touching her, he spoke close to her ear. Letting his breath tease along her neck and the shell of her ear. His voice was quiet and smooth as well-worn leather, "You sure?" Dean lightly nudged her earlobe with his nose and chuckled huskily when she shivered, "Seems to me you're a little distracted by something."

Cassie bit her lip and when the small sting didn't remind her why she shouldn't lean her neck into the moist heat at her throat, she bit harder. When that didn't keep her from moaning as Dean's tongue…god she could barely think…as his tongue teased along her ear and down her throat she gave up. Her hands reaching for his shoulders as he pulled her aggressively against his chest.

Dean felt her defenses fall and suddenly she was in his arms, filling up his senses. He felt her eager hands rush into his hair and moved his lips to hers.

Cassie expected him to be rough, but he wasn't. She was surprised when his tongue barely touched her lips and she whimpered as he teased her bottom lip but refused to deepen the kiss even after she opened her mouth, her own tongue darting out to find his.

Dean pulled back, caught her eyes and shook his head. He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, even as his hands fell from her shoulders to cup the sides of her breasts and his thumbs brushed lightly across her nipples, "My way…okay?"

Cassie's head fell back and she groaned. He was going to kill her. When she didn't respond he pinched her nipples almost painfully and she suddenly straightened her head and tried to focus on his face.

Dean bent to her ear again and whispered, "I said we do this my way Cass." He bit gently at her ear, "You understand me?"

Cassie nodded, her voice a breathy whisper "Yes…please, Dean…god…I need you…"

Dean's breath stopped and his heart hammered in his chest. He swallowed and forced himself to focus, "Good..." He bent his lips to her again and continued to tease her lips with his tongue. He barely touched her lips, feathering his tongue along her lower lip before treating her upper one to the same.

Cassie shivered as sensation thrummed through her and settled low in her belly. The coiled tension that was there, was winding bit-by-bit, tighter and tighter. Dean's hands teasing up her sides, every once in awhile just lightly brushing a nipple as his tongue continued to tease her lips and now down her jaw to her throat. She dropped her head back and moaned, deep and low in her throat as fire rushed through her veins and heat licked her core.

Dean smiled against her skin. He loved what he could do to her with barely a touch and touching her was feeding his own need like it never had before. He was impossibly hard and pressing painfully against the fly of his jeans. He couldn't resist pressing himself against her hip as he moved to stand behind her. He gasped at the contact, especially when he felt her push back against him.

Cassie felt Dean's cock slide past her hip and she moved into it. God, if he didn't increase his contact she was going to kill him, but damn she couldn't remember ever being as turned on as she was right now. She felt Dean's hands move into her hair from behind and she let her head fall back into his touch .

Dean teased his hands into Cassie's hair, pulled out the pins and brushed her hair down to her shoulders as he gently massaged her scalp. His fingers found the clasp to the halter of her dress and he slid the two pieces apart then pressed a kiss to the spot where it had laid. His tongue teased along her neck and he growled when she pressed her ass back against him. Suddenly, he pulled her back against his chest. His hands on her waist and he couldn't resist grinding himself against the curve of her ass.

Dean's lips were at her ear, again, "God, baby you are so fucking beautiful…" His hands traced up from her hips to cup her breasts and tease her nipples through the satin, even as he tugged the material down to expose her nipples.

Cassie gasped and squirmed when Dean's fingernails raked lightly across her nipples in tandem. Again, fire shot down her spine and she moaned, as her legs grew weak.

Dean teased her breasts, weighing them in his palms and flicking his fingers over them, "I have you baby…always have…you like that Cassie? You like what I do to you?" Dean's lips and tongue traced a path across her left shoulder and then around to the tops of her breasts. He watched her face as he continued to tease her breasts. He watched her lick her lips, watched her pant and when her passion glazed eyes finally opened, heavy lidded, and half-focused he gave her smile, sexy as sin, "You like that baby…like me touching you?"

Cassie swallowed and nodded, "God yes, Dean…please." Cassie slid her hands to his shoulders to steady herself. "I'm on fire…and it's you're damn fault." Cassie moved, trying to press against Dean's erection.

Dean shook his head and removed one hand from her nipple to wag it in front of her, "No way, we already laid that rule down. Who's rules, Cass?"

Tears of frustration and need appeared in the corners of Cassie's eyes and she groaned, "Yours, damn it…your fucking rules."

Dean nodded and then pulled her violently against him as his mouth claimed hers. He didn't ask for permission, he didn't tease he simply took. Dean's tongue dove and rolled, not fighting but claiming, memorizing, and owning.

Cassie moaned long and loud and kissed him back with just as much need. Her own tongue plundering and tasting. She inhaled him, tasted him; chocolate, whiskey and all Dean…and she whimpered when she realized it made her feel safe. She clung to him desperately, pressing her lips frantically against his. Teeth and tongues fought and the sharp, coppery taste of blood suddenly mixed with the mellow smoothness of the whiskey.

Dean tasted the blood, didn't care, and just continued to ravage Cassie's willing mouth. Need pressing him toward violence. They'd played there before; he knew she wouldn't be afraid, he knew that she'd understood when he told her about the rules. His way. He was doing this his way. He moaned as Cassie's teeth bit harshly into his bottom lip and tugged. He reached behind her and with ease found the zipper of the dress. He tugged it down and stepped back enough so that the dress would fall to the floor.

Cassie kicked the dress to the side and stood still as Dean looked his fill.

Dean's hands were on Cassie's shoulders and he gradually traced down her arms before he took a step back. Braless, her generous breasts swayed slightly with her panting breaths. The black thong and shit, garter belt that held up the stockings. She still wore the black heels and he found himself suddenly shaking with need.

His hands dropped to her waist and he teased his fingers along the top of the panties before moving to cup her ass. Dean splayed his hands and teased between the perfect cheeks with the tips of his fingers, drifting lower and then back up.

Cassie shivered, he was so close to where she needed his touch the most, but he was teasing her and she let him. She'd agreed to his rules. Her hands gripped his shoulders as he drug his knuckles across the front of her panties and pressed against her clit. The moan that rose from her throat sounded a bit like a yelp as he roughly grazed the sensitive nub. "Please…please…Dean, oh, my god…please."

Dean dropped his hand and stepped back. "Take off the thong, Cassie…and the shoes." Dean watched and sucked in a deep breath. THIS, he wasn't doing to tease. He needed the space before he embarrassed himself. He closed his eyes, reached for the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floor.

Cassie stood watching as Dean pulled his shirt off. She didn't think it was possible to be more turned on, but when his chest, that perfect chest, came into view, she sucked in a sudden, sharp breath. "You're the one that's fucking beautiful…" She closed her eyes and then opened them. She took a step forward, intent on tracing the muscles beneath his skin, committing them to memory.

"Ditch the thong and the shoes, Cass…Now." Dean crossed his arms and waited.

Cassie nodded as if in a trance, but she still had enough sense to tease. Her hands traced down her breasts, teasing her nipples before she turned her back. Leaving the shoes for the time being she slid her thumbs under the waist of the thong and slowly tugged it lower and down her hips. She bent as she continued to push them down her legs. Bent in half she couldn't see Dean's face, but she heard his breathing stagger and catch and she smiled. Lifting one foot then the next, she then slowly stood, bringing the thong with her. She glanced over her shoulder and gave him a sexy smile.

Dean was more than tempted to close the gap and take her while she was bent over…god it was pure torture. He was close to bursting and it forced him to close his eyes and breathe deep. He watched her stand and then smile over her shoulder. She looked him up and down like she was going to devour him and he wished she would, but he knew she's keep her word. His way.

Dean cleared his throat and arched his eyebrow, "Shoes?"

Cassie nodded and then turned. Facing him she sat on the end of the bed and tilting her body slightly to the side she bent and slid the left shoe off, dropping it to the floor with a thump. She straitened and then bent to do the same to the right shoe. Her eyes on Dean's the entire time. She kicked the shoes to the side. She sat up, knees pressed together and wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. She saw his jaw clench and then she leaned back on her arms, just slightly, but she allowed her knees to fall wide when she did it.

Dean's hands fisted at his side while she moved, but when she leaned back and opened her legs, he knew it was over. Three long strides and he fell to his knees between her legs. His hands were shaking as they skirted up her thighs and gripped her hips. His eyes caught hers for a second before he lowered his mouth to her.

Cassie couldn't help it. She fell back onto the bed even before he touched her. His hands pulling her to the edge of the bed and his warm breath caressing her. She groaned and tried not to lift her hips, but it was next to impossible.

Dean hovered, soaking up the essence that was Cassie. He inhaled deeply and lightly blew out his breath over her, making her shiver and lift her hips. She was so wet she was near dripping and it made his already straining cock jump. "So wet, Cass…so damn wet…all for me baby." He drew his tongue lightly, slowly from bottom to top, avoiding the tight bud at her core. He moaned at the taste of her, "So sweet…" His tongue traced the same path as before, this time pressing deeper, slipping inside and twirling before continuing up to her clit. He paused and then lowered his mouth to her, drew the nub lightly between his teeth and scraped it roughly.

Cassie's breath caught as his tongue teased her, but when he lowered his mouth to her clit and she felt his teeth she screamed, hands finding his hair as sensation overwhelmed her. Shit, she couldn't focus, she couldn't breathe, all she managed was that scream and to lift her hips into Dean's obliging mouth. Her hands gripping his hair, pressing him closer, needing more, "Please…please…Dean…"

Dean didn't let up. His tongue dove inside, he sucked and bit even as Cassie arched into the bed and pressed him against her. He knew what she liked, even though the first time he'd done this she'd been too embarrassed to admit she enjoyed it. Too embarrassed until he had her begging him not to stop. He shifted her knees over his shoulders and suckled her clit, teasing it roughly with his teeth and tongue. He felt her tense, her breath halt and then his tongue was bathed in her juices as she came against it.

Cassie's fingers tensed in Dean's hair as she moved beneath him. She felt herself swell, felt the pressure suddenly increase and then she fell, tumbling down as sensation overwhelmed her, wiping out all her senses except for what she could feel between her legs. The throbbing sensation then spread up her spine and down her limbs. She released a shuddering breath and relaxed back into the bed, releasing Dean's hair.

Dean's tongue continued to lap slowly, letting her recover and when she finally released his hair he sat back and surveyed what he'd wrought.

Cassie was melted into the bed and a flush covered her chest and throat. Her big brown eyes, heavily gazing at him as her hands drifted softly across her breasts and belly. He watched as the muscles of her vagina clenched and relaxed as the last bit of her orgasm ran its course. Dean ran his thumbs across her labia and lightly brushed her swollen clit making her squirm beneath his fingers. Slowly he stood and reached for the buttons of his jeans.

Cassie watched as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until he'd popped open the last button and began to move his jeans and boxer's down his legs. She watched him shimmy out of his jeans and kick them before standing naked before her. Cassie pushed up on her elbows and moaned when he gripped and stroked himself in front of her.

"Cassie, I need you so fucking bad, it hurts baby." Dean looked down as he stroked himself, before he closed his eyes and dropped his hands to his sides. He stood for a several seconds before kneeling on the bed. "Cass, touch me…"

His throaty request brought another rush of liquid heat between her legs, but she moved swiftly to comply. She knelt in front of Dean and took him into her hand even as she pressed her lips to his. She moaned when he kissed her back. All her need was in that kiss and she felt him give it right back. She stroked him firm and sure, up and down. She heard him groan as he thrust into her palm and she continued until he grabbed her arm and pulled his lips from hers.

He climbed up the bed and leaned against the headboard and then pulling her by her hand he brought her lips to his. He kissed her and buried his hands in her hair as she straddled him, just sliding wetness against his length. He leaned forward and slid his mouth down her throat to her breasts.

Cassie cried out when his mouth found one breast while his fingers teased the other. She gripped his shoulders, to steady herself and fought the urge to slide him inside. His rules, so she waited and teased. When his hand slid between them, Cassie thought he'd been reading her mind, but he only teased her clit by circling his finger around it making her press harder against him.

Dean pulled his mouth from her breasts and pressed his forehead to her chest as he struggled for control. Control he almost completely lost when Cassie pulled his hand to her mouth and sucked the finger he'd been teasing her with between her teeth.

Cassie's tongue swirled around the finger and she slid it in and out of her mouth while she watched his eyes grow wide. She knew what she was doing and she knew what she wanted. She'd play by his rules, but she'd cheat if she could. He was in charge, fine, but she knew she could get him to do what she wanted.

Dean pulled his finger from her mouth and pulled her lips to his for a sudden, brutal kiss. He pulled back, rested his cheek against hers and panted, "You don't know what you're asking for Cass…I'm barely holding on."

She pouted and ground herself against him. "I'm a big girl, Dean…I know what I'm doing." She couldn't help but smile when he thrust himself up against her.

Dean shook his head, "Fine…" He fell back against the headboard and released Cassie's face.

Cassie smiled and kissed along his jaw, biting and tasting as she went. Down his throat to his chest where she teased his nipples with her teeth and tongue.

Dean groaned it pleasure and frustration. He needed more, but wasn't willing to end it yet. "God, Cassie I love when you do that…" He arched his back as her nails scored down his side to his hips.

Cassie's tongue followed her nails down to his hips and then to the center where his cock rested slightly curved against his belly. She gripped the base with her hand as she lifted it to her mouth. Her eyes glued to Deans as she sent her tongue darting out to tease the sensitive slit and gather the drops of precum that sat there.

Dean's breath left him in a rushed hiss as Cassie's tongue slid over the glans. Dean sunk his hands into her hair and let her move up and down on his length. He watched until sensation became too much and his eyes fell shut as his head fell back.

Cassie used her tongue to stroke the underside of Dean's cock as she slid him slowly in and out of her mouth. One hand holding the base as she moved up and down, her pace increasing as she reacquainted herself with his length. She sucked up the upstroke and teased her tongue around him as she slid back down. She grew wet as she watched him strain beneath her. The muscles of his stomach bunching and releasing as he growled almost continually deep in his throat.

Dean began to move, thrusting lightly into Cassie's talented and willing mouth. God, he was dying…but what a way to go. His hips bucked and he didn't apologize. This was Cassie, she knew the rule, and he'd warned her. His hands gripped her hair, pressing her down as he thrust up and he felt her gag and pull back, she swallowed and set her mouth back to his cock. He'd never forgotten how much he loved this part of making love to Cassie. The best mouth he'd ever had. He thrust up and she slid with him, letting him fuck her mouth gently…he groaned and with a whimper, he pulled her hair lightly to lift her head, knowing he was too close to keep going this way. "'Nough, gotta stop…shit, baby too close." He ground out between clenched teeth.

Cassie thought about ignoring him, because watching him and knowing she was the cause of his pleasure was extremely empowering, but she gave him one last hard suck and sat back between his legs to watch him.

Dean's eyes were heavy and his cock was throbbing. "Come here." His voice was gravelly and harsh, almost as if he'd been screaming. He watched as Cassie crawled up his chest, pausing to flick her tongue across his nipples and run her curls over his chest, her eyes never wavering from his gaze. He realized they'd always had that and she was the only one he was ever that open with. He let her see him, at his best and strongest and then at his weakest. He let her see the real Dean, the one he kept hidden away, even from Sam.

Cassie watched Dean's eyes and smiled. This was the only time he ever let her in. The only time he fully trusted her. She stretched out beside him and traced two fingernails down his side to his hip and back to his nipple, which she flicked with her nail then soothed with her tongue.

Dean moved beneath her and then was above her, eyes intense and emerald hard staring down at her. Dean cupped her cheek and bent to kiss her, softly, tenderly, but with barely restrained passion. He moaned into her mouth as his hand skirted down, across her breast to her hip and he pressed his erection against her thigh. He pulled back panting, needing her so bad he could barely think. "Want ya' Cass…" He kissed her swollen lips softly, "Need you so damn bad." His voice soft against her ear. He groaned, "You drive me crazy, I'm barely hanging on…" His voice was breathy, thready with need. His eyes found hers and he was shocked by the raw lust he saw in hers.

Cassie's fingers slid up Dean's chest and she gently wiped the sheen of tears from his eyes. "Need you too…I'm aching from it." She arched up against his lower body and moaned when he shifted a knee between her legs and pressed against her.

Dean nodded and sat up reaching for the small table beside the bed. He fumbled with the drawer, pulled out a box and dumped the condoms onto the bed beside them. With shaking hands he managed to open one and sitting back he slid it one while Cassie watched.

Cassie swallowed as she watched Dean slide the condom down his length and then he bent down and kissed her hard.

Dean pressed his forehead against Cassie's and panted, "I need you so bad…don't want to hurt you."

Cassie shifted, opened her legs and bent her left leg, hooking an ankle around Dean's lower back, "'S'okay..." She pressed up toward him, "Need you…please Dean…" She gripped his shoulders and rolled her hips against his erection.

Dean held himself up on one forearm and with his other hand, he reached down and guided himself against her. Then with a sudden violent thrust, he slid inside to the hilt. He threw his head back and groaned, "Feels so good…like home."

Cassie hissed at the sudden intrusion, but didn't fight it. She was wet enough that he slid in easily. She knew he paused for her, letting her adjust and when she pulled down with her leg and pushed up against him he started to move. White-hot pleasure flew up her spine and she gasped, arching even harder against him as he thrust into her. Cassie gripped Dean's shoulders as he rolled against her. She felt like she was about to shatter in pieces and she arched harshly into the bed beneath her.

Dean thrust hard, gripping Cassie's hips and watching as she moved beneath him and he knew he must be hurting her, but at that moment he didn't care. He shifted his angle and drove deeper, feeling himself pressing deep inside. He watched her face, saw the sudden look of pain flash across her face, and watched as she arched deeper into it. He slid his hand up her sides and then pulled her up against him as he shifted to his knees so she could straddle him.

Cassie leaned heavily against Dean's shoulder and moved her legs to get better leverage. Moving desperately against Dean, needing more of him, raising up and pressing down urgently as she reached for pressure against that one spot she knew would send her spinning over the edge. "God, please.. Dean…" Cassie gasped and groaned against Dean's ear, her teeth dragging and pulling as she moved.

Dean pushed Cassie back, supporting her on the arm he held around her waist. He thrust up against her and splayed a hand across her upper chest, fingers pressed against the pulse beating wildly in the hollow of her throat. Sweat slicked both their bodies and the sheen of it on her caramel skin made the breath catch, once again in his throat. Dean lowered Cassie to the bed, still on his knees he grabbed the pillows from the bed and tucked them beneath her ass.

"Yessss…." Cassie gasped when Dean lifted her ass and then thrust into her with the same urgency she felt. Her hips up and Dean was suddenly hitting the spot deep inside that he knew would send her flying.

Dean's hands drifted over Cassie's breasts, teasing as they went then his right hand drifted to her clit. He pressed against her in time to his thrusting, He felt the shudder beneath him and he rocked faster against her, "Need…you…to come for me baby…so close, Cass…please."

Cassie gripped Dean's wrists and watched his face. When his eyes found hers she arched sharply upward and gasped, "There…baby…right there…fuck…yes" her head fell back, before she looked back up at Dean, "Please…yessss." She rocked up against him again as he rolled his hips…so close, she panted and moaned. Her eyes still desperately on his.

Dean moved, rolled his hips, pressed against her clit and her eyes suddenly went wide as she convulsed beneath him, her muscles gripping and pulling and he couldn't take it anymore. Dean thrust hard, paused, shaking as Cassie's orgasm continued. He gripped desperately at her hips, thrust again and hovered as she pushed up against him. Once more and she clenched him tight, deep inside and he felt his balls tighten as he swelled and came, his eyes on hers the entire time.

He watched her eyes, watched the tears fill and start to fall and he fought his own. He pulled out and collapsed beside her, pulling her tight against his chest so she wouldn't see the tears that were now on his cheeks. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled, trying to catch his breath and prevent the sob rising in his throat.

Cassie's tears were on his chest and she let them fall, not bothering to wipe them away. Deep inside she knew. She knew there was some reason she was never going to see Dean Winchester again and that thought broke her heart. Even though she'd told him twice before that she never wanted to see him again, even though she lived her life quite well when he wasn't around, there was something about the finality of what she'd just experienced with him that scared her.

Dean let his own tears fall. Tears of regret, tears of anger and loss…most of all tears of fear. He was so scared, more scared than he'd ever been. More scared than when he'd almost died before, more scared than when Dad died, more scared than when he'd held his baby brother's body in his arms while he died. He pulled the warmth that was Cassie against him and sobbed, no longer pretending.

Cassie held Dean while he cried, while she cried. Neither of them spoke and when the man beneath her finally fell asleep, Cassie pulled herself gently from his arms. She dressed as tears ran down her face and then she stood looking down at him. Even in sleep, he looked troubled, a scared little boy waiting for the nightmare to grip him.

Cassie brushed a gently hand across his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips before whispering quietly, "I love you Dean Winchester…I always have and always will." She paused, set something on the table beside the bed, and then moved to the door. She opened it and paused to look back at the sleeping man, "Goodbye, I'm gonna' miss you." Cassie stepped out and pulled the door quietly shut behind her as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

The door clicked softly closed and Dean rolled over toward the table. A new round of tears rushing to fill his burning eyes when he saw what was there. A single Celtic knot earring, the small garnet sparkling in the early morning light shining through the curtain.

Dean stared at the small silver knot that represented eternity and the garnet that represented passion and love. His voice cracking in the empty room. "I love you, Cassie Robinson…" Dean sniffed and wiped at his eyes, "God, I'm going to miss you too."

_**So if you feel so inclined let me know what you thought...it thrills me to see review alerts.**_


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